Is False Forgiveness Holding Me Back?

Day: 28

Where: Home

Type of Yoga: MyYogaOnline.com Slow Burn Hatha Yoga

Time: 44 min.

Day: 29

Where: Home

Type of Yoga: MyYogaOnline.com Power of Breath

Time:45 min.

Day: 30

Where: Home

Type of Yoga: MyYogaOnline.com Yoga for PMS

Time:20 min.

Before I begin my attempt at healing from my last rant, The Great Ego Purge. Drinks To Be Served After: Crazy Ass Baseball Moms , I feel it is important for me to address forgiveness...because I'm pretty sure I've had it all wrong. In fact I think what I thought was forgiveness was total b.s. on my part. 

My style of forgiveness is starting to remind me of the azalea bushes in my yard. The azalea flowers bloom for only a short period of time a year, and they always look full and pretty, though if neglected, their roots will be totally wrapped up in strangling weeds.   

Forgiveness has become a big part of what I think is truly important. I am apparently not alone. During my inquiries on why my forgiveness doesn't seem to work the way I had hoped it would, I saw an article where the writer said he wasn't "buying in to this whole forgiveness trend", and that "talks of forgiveness in the yoga community have been ad nauseam this year". I think at first i was taken aback...forgiveness trend? What a pompous ass, what the hell is wrong with forgiveness? If it is a trend then shouldn't that be a good thing? Now, I think I might get it. Forgiveness is too personal to make it this one thing everyone should be doing. I think maybe what stems from that could be false forgiveness or not full-on forgiveness or maybe, like in my case, forgiveness dripping with martyrdom and greed and vanity.  

I have come to this conclusion for myself:

It doesn't make you better to forgive. it makes you intolerable only of resentment. And that will make you free. 

So I'm going to keep it simple. I will focus on choosing to dump a heavy load that I no longer wish to carry. That's it. I'm not special and magical and amazing because I forgive. I'm a little selfish actually, in a good way, because I don't want to carry someone else's shit around any longer.

I would like to know how you view forgiveness? Not the kind that is for the big abuses, traumas, tragedies, or losses in your life. (I am so not qualified to put my two cents in on those, all I can do is send love) The kind that is made up of offensive words, or mistakes by others you are close to or of those you barely know, etc. What helps you to dump the "bad juju" before it turns into the rock hard resentment cement? Post your thoughts/experiences/comments below!