Real Slack

Day: 20

Where: At Home

Type of Yoga: Evening stress Release (HULU PLUS)

Time: 21 min.

Day: 19

Where: Yoga Room

Type of Yoga: Hatha Flow I 

Time: 1 hour & 30 min.

Day: 18

Where: Yoga Room

Type of Yoga: Hatha Flow I and II

Time: 1 hour & 30 min.

Day: 17

Where: At Home

Type of Yoga: Shanti Yoga (HULU PLUS)

Time: 50 min.

Day: 16

Where: Yoga Room

Type of Yoga: Hatha Flow I

Time: 1 hour & 30 min.

This is a celebration of slacking. A celebration of not doing yoga the way I "should" have. That's right. Sounds strange I know. I have skipped a total of four days of yoga, scattered throughout this last week and a half. 

My upper thighs were tight...real tight. I went to a class and we focused on a lot of kneeling poses. And it was uuunnncomfortable. I felt like a total fish out of water. In yoga? Whaat? This was nuts to me because I've never ever felt that way before. Ever. It was just the catalyst necessary to slip into that old habit of giving in and giving up. 

This was the kind of "give up" I didn't even realize I was involved in. It wasn't my conscious talking, it was something else whispering and dropping hints and pointing out how maybe (just maybe) this yoga stuff didn't suite my life. Not NOW, ya know? Maybe when things are different, kids are older, husband isn't working so many crazy hours. It began to  suggest, "Maybe you should just run?", "Maybe you should just join the Y again?", "Maybe you should just get some mint chocolate chip ice cream and take a little nappy-nap. I'm just sayin."

So here's what saved me. I've seen the following creep back in. This list of b.s. popped up just from those sporadic few days of not doing yoga. I'm not kidding. I was back to how I was pre-yoga, 24 days ago:

• drained of mental energy 
• struggling to write
• crazy judgmental thoughts  
• talking shit about others
• looking at myself with disdain in the mirror
• quick to snap, tense not relaxed
• struggling to make time for myself
• feeling like 24 hours went by in 12
• making terrible eating choices 

Yes. I really and truly felt the opposite of each of these above points when I did yoga every day. Doing this daily, I felt like I had just been given the best prescription ever...oxi-yog-don...or something like that. The only difference was the kind of work that came along with it. 

So what is this? Why is this? I sort of know what it is for me, but I really would like  to pursue going a bit deeper. Maybe start talking to some of the folks I know who have been practicing for years, hear some stories, get a little clarity through solidarity. I hate to use the word "answers" because I do realize it's all relative, but I feel the need to start some conversations and see what comes out of it. Maybe something I can use. 

I think it's so more than okay to take a few steps back before you take many more steps forward. I now believe, in fact, that not only is it okay, but it is absolutely necessary! I say this is a celebration of the steps forward and the steps back. And as for my thighs, I'm just going to have to go around that damn mountain one more time.